After many years of dating, I have come to a realization that men, will do what they can get by with, up to a certain point.
It’s almost that simple, which in many ways is frightening. If you call them on their actions in a loving and honest way, they usually will stop doing whatever it is that you caught them doing.
If you come off as a “B” than perhaps they will make a decision as to weather not to stay with you, or worst, they will figure out a way to screw you over even more. (depends on his nature)
If you come off loving, using your “nice” words, I have found that in time, they will stop doing, whatever, it is you are complaining about, if they care about you and the relationship.
However, if you tell them "mentally" to STOP it, they will stop immediately and look around for the man who helped you to speak to them on a mental level, using no words, just your thoughts. It is usually a brother or father behind helping a young woman to mentally tell her man that his actions are not acceptable.
I could be wrong, however, it seems to me, that our relationships are what we make them. As long as we don’t start an argument before the Sunday afternoon NFL game, or sleep with one of his so called best friends, it appears that you can make the relationship whatever you choose.
Be smart. Plan for a bright future for you and your man. You might not want to sit down and tell him the plans for his future, but you certainly have a big influence, as long as you include the things that he talks about doing from day to day.
Don’t be alarmed if his plans for the future changes, as long as it doesn’t include trading you in for a younger model. Men change their life plans as time passes. I believe it has something to do with, once he sees the big picture of his future plans, then he makes a final decision on those plans.
When I was a very young woman, I asked my father, how do you know what is the right thing to do? He looked at me for a moment and said, “You test the spirit by the spirit.” I didn’t understand the answer, but I knew not to push for an explanation.
I fully realized that I only got his answer, because I was his daughter, and it wasn’t something men usually share.
Now in later years, I believe I understand my father’s answer. Men speak their intentions, then lay around on the couch watching the football game, the basketball game and the baseball game, until they make a final decision on their intentions. (This is not true of all men, however, some men delay success until they feel comfortable with what success brings)
During my years of dating, I have seen what happens when a man decides to make good on his intentions. It’s like all the pieces of the puzzle come together, and a strong force or energy is created to accomplish his task. Failure is not an option, and if you get in the way of his progress, then you, like his old habits, can be discarded. I have also seen the other side of this coin, when it seems that they never really make an effort to manifest their intentions.
Men are different than us. Getting to know them is a delightful journey, and I’m still learning every day. Men amaze me, they are so much more intelligent than they allow women to see.
The next time your man does something,that appears to be really stupid, at least to you, don't say anything. Just look at, why, when, where, how, and what, then ask yourself, what end result was he looking for? And, did he accomplish his goal?
I guarantee you that you will gain new insight into men and their behavior.
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